My Dearest Salinger Pug,
While I am quite aware of the fact that you enjoy treats and yummies, I feel that for our safety I must point out the following...
My pajamas have IMAGES of cupcakes, doughnuts, cookies, etc. on them, but PLEASE note that these images do NOT make my PJs EDIBLE!
I do find your gnawing at my yummy looking pantlegs to be quite adorable, BUT I must ask you please stop this behavior at once before one (or both) of us sustains an injury.
It is quite a challenge for me (a woman weighing one hundred and plenty pounds) to negotiate a flight of stairs with a crazed PUG (tipping the scales at TWENTY SIX pounds!) firmly attached to my leg.
While my great balance and dexterity (haha) have been of great benefit during these "sessions", I must point out that at any time, I could trip and fall which could have tragic results...
I could wind up breaking my leg, winding up in traction, and unable to be at your beck and call 24/7.
Please consider this the next time I am wearing these particular pajamas, and kindly just follow me into the kitchen and stare up at me in that pathetic manner and I will gladly provide you with a REAL foodable treat.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation and consideration with this matter. I am confident that our relationship will benefit greatly as a result of this minor change.
A Year in the Life of Noodles - 2020 Version
5 months ago