Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Christmas Meme A.K.A. A Way To Keep Mommy Out Of The Nuthouse!!!!

Well...mommy is getting back to her old self, with just a bit more edge than normal. She's very crabby and irritated at the fact that she can't stand upright yet, her skin is very tight and ITCHY and she says "these #$%& pills make me $%^&# nauseous!!!" She says she is going stir crazy so she decided to do the Christmas Meme that is floating around out there in bloggerland to keep her from starting projects she shouldn't be doing.
Here is proof that she's ok. She's being gross and showing off her DRAINS in this picture!!! EEEWWWW!!! She gets them taken out on Friday and promises to show off her new FLAT tummy after then. I can't wait to climb up in her lap! Her Plastic Surgeon said that I can't sleep with her for a while because I might have FECAL MATERIAL on me! EXCUUUSE ME? FECAL???? I am SOOO offended! Fecal indeed!
So I ask you....is this the face of a FECAL Pug?????? Come ON!

ANYWAY.... here it is....the 2008 Christmas Meme. Remember...Mom is bored and has NOTHING better to do (and this meme took her most of the day on and off because typing and reading make her #$%^ nauseous too!)
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper, with ribbons and nice bows for most. Mimi (mom's mom) is a very Martha Stewartesque type wrapper and HER mom was a gift wrapper for Hudsons for many years, so Mom says she had good teachers.

This isn't mom's BEST work, but it's typical of this Christmas.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Normally mom would just answer "artificial" and move on, but her answer right now is...
"Are you frigging KIDDING me? FAKE all the way!!! There is no way in #$% I'm vacuuming up pug hair AND tree needles eleventy five times a week. PLUS...what do you suppose might happen with a big open bowl of water that you stick the thing in??? HELLOOOOO? We'd be at the #$%& vet's office faster than you can say O' Tannenbaum. Yeah, mark us down for FAKE!

3. When do you put up the tree?
Usually the day after Thanksgiving or that weekend after.
VERY cute pic of Holden and I after the lyre tree was finished this year!

4. Wreath on your door?
Yeah, we have one. Here is me looking cute with it.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Mom LOVES it and has a "bariatric friendly" recipe that she makes so she won't get sick or fat from it (both aren't good in her book).
1 pkg (4 serving size) sugar-free instant vanilla pudding
About a tablespoon of Splenda
7 cups skim milk
A few good grates of fresh nutmeg
1 12 ounce can evaporated skim milk
2 teaspoons imitation rum flavor extract

Shake it all up in a big pitcher (or half empty gallon milk jug!) and enjoy it without the guilt or hangover!

6. Favorite Christmas gift received as a child?
This one is easy! Mom says her ROLLER SKATES that she got when she was 8 from Mimi and Pa. She didn't think she'd get them because Mimi and Pa said they were so expensive and she vividly remembers the feeling of sheer joy and amazement when she opened them (and subsequently wore them out along with about 3 other pair!) Here is a pic....
That carpet would have been nice for hiding Pug Puke!!!

7. Easiest person to buy for?
Holden. He's pretty easy. He likes everything Lego or Star Wars related.
This was taken last year around 7am. Daddy is NOT happy!

8. Least easy?
Mommy says that Mimi and Pa are tough. She says she always wants to give them something nice, but they have EVERYTHING.
We REALLY think Mimi and Pa need a PUG to keep them company. Maybe next year!

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
No. Mom says it's probably just as well because she said I'd probably eat the Baby Jesus or a camel or something and then we'd have a huuuuuuuuge vet bill.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
MAIL! Who emails Christmas cards? This was our Christmas Card picture this year.
Notice anything MISSING??? ME perhaps?????? Nice family picture SANS PUG!!!! I guess I was too FECAL to travel to Toronto with them this summer or something. Nice.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Mom says she's loved every gift she's ever received. It's the thought that counts.
(hahahaha...must be the pills talking! Nice answer mom!)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story....without question! Mom could watch it a billion times and still laughs!
christmas story Pictures, Images and Photos
You'll shoot your eye out kid!!!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Mom is one of those people that shop year round. She gets all angsty in crowds, so she likes to avoid the rush and nonsense of actual Christmas shopping.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Probably. Not sure what...but I'm sure at some point I have.

15. Open presents on Christmas eve or morning?
Depends what the family situation is. We usually just go with the flow and do it when everyone is here and it makes sense.

16. Lights on the tree?
White and ONLY white. Non flashing/seizure inducing. Just plain white.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Can you believe mom can't STAND Christmas music of ANY sort???? She says that "Do They Know It's Christmastime" song by Band Aid doesn't make her ears bleed....but that's about it.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay HOME and out of the insanity if it can be helped!!!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
Yes, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph. Mom says that Santa is a pervert to have given all but ONE of his reindeer STRIPPER names.
Santa at Strip Club Pictures, Images and Photos
Maybe Rudolph was the bouncer....

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
This year we have a Lyre as a topper on one, and a santa hat on the other. We have a pointy thing that we normally do, but didn't use it this year. Mommy does a "Citadel" tree for Daddy in the study and uses one of his old shako hats as a topper (sorry...no pic! Can you believe that?)

21. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
MMMMMM FRUITCAKE!!!!!!! Mommy LOOOOOVES those little Hostess fruitcakes and says NO ONE is allowed to make fun of her until they've gone out and tried one for themselves. They're DELICIOUS!!!!!!!
fruitcake Pictures, Images and Photos

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The crowds and people acting even more rude than normal.

23. Favorite Tree ornament, theme or color?
Lyre tree! Mom has been collecting them since college.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Mom has made prime rib OR Beef Wellington for Christmas Dinner for about the last 10 years or so. YUMMMMY!

25. Brussels Sprouts - love or hate them?
They're ok. Daddy loves them the way mom does them with bacon and onion. ME (the Pug) not so much!
Ummmmm....I need to speak with the chef. This simply WILL NOT do!

26. Favorite accompaniment to the Christmas Pud?
Ok, we can only assume this means "pudding" as in that British steamed pudding stuff. Mom doesn't make it because we're not British and the rest of us would rather stuff our faces on cookies anyway.

27. Favorite Christmas Carol?
Ummmm...didn't we already cover this????

28. Your very Favorite Christmas Thing?
Mom says her family and friends. She has the BEST batch of each!
Now THIS is a family Christmas Card picture!!!!! Pug featured prominently in the front!!!

29. A Christmas wish!
To end all suffering in the world, whether it be human, animal, vegetable or mineral. I think that covers it.

30. Tag a Seasonal Six!
If you're reading this.......YOU'RE IT! Have fun. Feel free to complete after a fistful of Vicodin!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Peace be with you

Kelly said...

1.) Could you be any cuter, Salinger?
2.) Could Holden be any cuter?!
3.) We LOVE the roller skate picture!

Hmm... that's all for now. Get well Mommy!!!!!!!

Sandra y Coco Pug said...

Hi Salinger, I am glad your mom is doing well. Loved the answers!
Take care of mommy and don't worry about the fecal thing, Coco goes poop hunting every morning against my will of course (eeeewwww!!!)

Archie and Melissa said...

yay! i am so gald mom is feeling better!
salinger, you always crack me up!
m & e

Anonymous said...

yay! way to keep yourself entertained! great answers!
("It's a major award!")

Nevis said...

Oh, Salinger...you're so funny...and totally not FECAL. :P I cracked up aloud quite a few times reading this!

The Devil Dog said...

That is a fun meme, isn't it? Great answers. Mom wants to know if Holden looks for his Christmas gifts. PlusOne doesn't. He even walked right by the Amazon.com boxes with his gifts in them and never even noticed. Mom thinks this is a little weird.