CONE? I'll show YOU!

Uh oh....I heard mom on the phone with dad saying that she was ready to ship me off to the meat packing plant (again)! You see...my paw bandage was supposed to come off yesterday, but it was STUCK to my fur and I screamed like a crazed chicken when mom tried to take it off, so she hauled my PugButt into the vet to get it taken off....here's what my staples look like...

EEEEWWWWW!!!! Gross...but much better than that cysty tumory thing! (STILL waiting on results from that, BTW)


Mom knows me too well, she figured I'd be gnawing at my staples the second I got out of there, so she bought me one of these....(and laughed herself STUPID at the vet's office!)

"I. HATE. YOU."


Once we got home, I cried and kept shaking my head to get the Cone of Shame OFF my head. Mom figured I would just go to sleep....

"GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!"


SOMEHOW...I Houdini-ed myself OUT of the cone! (?) Mom can't figure this out because it was threaded onto MY COLLAR!!!! I guess having a big fat hotdog neck comes in handy!!!! I was gnawing my staples before she knew what was what!!! HAHAHAA!


THEN...a great battle ensued. She went into full Superfly mode and didn't stop until she caught me and RE BANDAGED my paw! She figures we'll try the Cone of Shame later. Just LOOK at the aftermath of this battle! (Be sure to click to biggify so you can see all of the chaos that resulted as a result of my greased pig-like moves!)

That's not even the WORST of it! I scratched and bit the CRAP out of mom's hand, scratched her leg THROUGH HER PANTS and she's bleeding, AND she kind of looks (and feels) like this....

OY!


All that insanity and jackassery made me tired...so I parked myself in my "naughty spot" where I could stare up at mom while she's working and make her feel SUPERSORRY for me.

HA! Cone of Shame??? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salinger: 1
Mom (and cone): 0



*****UPDATE AT 4:20 pm on Wednesday***** Doctor Boucher just called with lab results...it was a HISTIOCYTOMA (NOT a mast cell tumor like mom was freaking out about!) WHEW!!!!!!!!!

Terrorized!

Well, the parents have subjected me to nightmare inducing terror yet AGAIN...
Last night, they leashed me up and said we were going to visit my man Pugsley and his sister Lola. Of course I was allll excited, until we got down there and THIS was waiting for me at the door!

HOLY HOLY HOLY CRAP!!!


I'm OUTTA here!

You stall her, Lola!!!


Mom said this giant overgrown growly Pug looking thing was named DELILA and she's an English Bulldog! She's Pugsley and Lola's cousin and staying with them for a few days. OMG! I was worried that Pugsley had been grossly overfed!

I decided that if I stayed in Mom's arms and didn't look at that hoss Delila, then she wasn't actually there and it was ok.


Jeez...look at Dad getting all snuggly with Delila...(that's Pugsley's head peeking up in the corner!)

Dad LOVES Bulldogs because he went to The Citadel for college and their mascot was the bulldog. He even has one tattooed on his bicep!



FINALLY we got the HAAAIL out of there and back home where no large overgrown growly smushfaces were licking their chops to get a bite of some Pug Dim Sum....
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE???? MOOOOOOOOOM!

NOT. COOL. MOM!!!!

That stuffed bulldog looks JUST like Delila! I'm going recover from my heart attack over HERE....

...and give YOU the BROWN EYE TREATMENT for the rest of the day!!!!!!