Thursday, September 17, 2009

Salinger's Collection and Repo Agency

Hi everyone! With the economy in the shape it's in, Mom informed me that I need to start earning some scratch to help pay my share of the toy/treat/kibble/vet bills around here. I thought about what I could do (since being cute will only get one so far in this world!) and I GOT IT. I'm starting my own COLLECTION AND REPO AGENCY!

Click here to read the post that took place back in January when Dr. Holden and Nurse mom had a Stuffie Clinic and fixed up Nipsy the one eyed/one nippled purple monkey. Remember how messed up that guy was???? WELL....that slacker never paid his bill! Time for a little bit of Pug Justice!

I located Mr. Nipsy and started off by giving him a hug because he clearly has let himself go since we last saw him...
The guy has NO face left...missing both eyes and a chewed up nose, but still had that same smug expression. is I whispered to him in his ear...
"Pssst...forget something? Like PAYING UP???"

He didn't say anything, but kept giving me that dumb blank look, so I decided to rough him up a little....
You gotta be tough with these slacker types

He STILL wouldn't pay up, so I decided to give him the "Resevoir Dogs/Michael Madesen" special treatment...
"How's that ear feel? Can you hear me NOW?"

STILL I decided that a little "arm reposession" was in order...

What are YOU lookin' at???
What's the problem? You don't pay your car payment, you get the REPO MAN. This clown didn't pay for his stuffie repairs, so I'm the REPO PUG!

OK....Who's next? If you have a repo/collection job that needs to be done FAST...give me a yell. Salinger the Pug's Collection/Repo service! I'll either collect your money OR repo the property in question. Reasonable rates and references available upon request!


Pug(s) and Bugg said...

We have someone, er, something here you can reposess. There's this one black furry thing, googley eyes? poops in houses? Oh and another black furry thing that biteyfaces and sneezes a lot? They um... owe me backtaxes. K thanks.


Pug Posse said...

S-dog, you could go work with our Pug Mama! She works at a collection agency and they are always looking for good collectors, although some of your collection tactics might not be...uh, legal ;-)

Pug hugs and kisses!
The Pug Posse

Melissa and Emmitt said...

Salinger we love your new business!
consider yourself hired!

we need your services here. we have dozens of stuffies that owe us money for room and board, not to mention my slacker bird brother gilbert. all he does is sing all day and EAT.

i think i deserve a share of his food too. let's make him pay up dude.


Rosie said...

Be careful S-Dog I heard that the Purple Monkey's are a large gang and that monkey of yours might be a "made" monkey. You had better watch your back for roughing him up. You can't go around roughin on other animals turf. You'd better call for you back up!!

Pearl said...

Salinger, this is GENIUS!

I'd like to hire you immediately. I leave piece after piece of shartwork in our home for Momma. This requires much skill, and she has NEVER ONCE shown me a share of the proceeds from my art. Please get to Oklahoma ASAP.

Neas Nuttiness said...

Sorry Salinger - when Gracie finishes with a stuffie - they sleep with the fishes.

Arlo the Pug said...

Hey S-dog! If you need back-up, I'm there! Grrr!!

Nevis said...

I can't tell, Salinger, are you "roughing" Mr. Nipsy up, or humping him?

Hank said...

Uh......Sal, buddy.....just lemme know if yer mom wants that crate back! I'll bring it to ya personally!!!

Lilo, The Great Rock Eater said...

That's a mighy rough profession you've chossen S-Dog!!! Maybe you can get Holden to be yuor back up just in case things get to rough. We wouldn't want anything to happen to your pretty face would we????


Stubby said...

Salinger dude - that monkey's uncle is going to get you!

I like that you are going to be 'bringing home the bacon' but I'm not sure if you are cut out for this tough guy business. I thought you were a lover and not a fighter.

I guess if I need your services with any of my stuffies (especially after Rudy comes over) I will contact you. In the meantime maybe you can talk the football team into paying you for your services.

Stubby xoxo

Murphy Dogg said...

Hey! Can you get the new big chair back from Ginger for me??
Since I must be too much of a wuss to do it myself ...

Benny and Lily said...

BOL....What a great idea Slainger..hope you got something from Mr. Nipsy. We have a few blind stuffies . We may have to call Mr. repo Man
BBenny & Lily

Oakley and Swisher said...

Salinger buddy we think you are gonna be great at your job. If your job brings you our way we have two penguins that have had multiple operations, some pretty severe and we haven't seen one cent from them!

Lots of Licks--
Oak and Swish

Becky said...

After all that did he pay up? You are one tough pug!

Scout 'n Freyja said...

You are just too cute for words! The next time we need any help, you are going to be the first dude we call!