New Friend(?) Friday

Mom left me alone this morning for like 93938747382.5 hours and said she had to go out for some "Retail Therapy". She went to some place called Garden Ridge and came back with a bunch of crap and THIS....

"Hey MOM! Who is this bag-o-doughnuts????"



What do you MEAN we look like twins!?

Are you BLIND??? I am WAAAAAY more handsome than this guy!



Ok, maybe if I ignore him, he'll leave....

"I'M NOT LOOOOOKING AT YOUUUUU!!!"



"Dude, you smell funny...

kind of like resin and SHAME!"



I don't trust this clown...

I'm going to keep an eye on him and see what he's up to. Did you keep the receipt, Mom????



***MOM'S NOTE*** His name is GILBERT and he's STAYING! We just don't know where exactly he's going to live here in our house yet!


Happy Friday everyone!!!!

Freaky Noise Friday

Mom and Dad thought it was HIIIIILLLAAAAAAARRRRIOUS to scare the crap out of me with these stoooopid mouth popping noises....


RUUUDE, I tell you!!!

Fear not, I'll be sure and return the favor and BEG them to play at 3am and maybe puke in the Beg Cloud Bed for the cherry on top!

Happy Friday everyone!!!!!

Sundays are perfect for......

Sitting on your brother!!!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!


Hey mom and dad....looks like Sunday would be a good day to STRAIGHTEN UP THE SHELVES too! How is a Pug supposed to get any productive thinking or napping done with all this crap cluttering up everything???

Flowery Friday

(YAAAAWN)....Oh HI mom! So why have you woken me up from my 4th mid morning nap?

(STRRREEEETCH)....Oh...flowers...how lovely! I bet they smell even MORE lovely!

Waaaaait a second....

These are FAKE flowers! The pot is filled with BEANS!!!! WTF kind of scam is this???


A PEN? You woke me up from my SunNap to fool me with a flower PEN???? RUUUUUDE!!!

Not cool, lady. I'm going back to sleep. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ


Happy Friday everyone!

CONE? I'll show YOU!

Uh oh....I heard mom on the phone with dad saying that she was ready to ship me off to the meat packing plant (again)! You see...my paw bandage was supposed to come off yesterday, but it was STUCK to my fur and I screamed like a crazed chicken when mom tried to take it off, so she hauled my PugButt into the vet to get it taken off....here's what my staples look like...

EEEEWWWWW!!!! Gross...but much better than that cysty tumory thing! (STILL waiting on results from that, BTW)


Mom knows me too well, she figured I'd be gnawing at my staples the second I got out of there, so she bought me one of these....(and laughed herself STUPID at the vet's office!)

"I. HATE. YOU."


Once we got home, I cried and kept shaking my head to get the Cone of Shame OFF my head. Mom figured I would just go to sleep....

"GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!"


SOMEHOW...I Houdini-ed myself OUT of the cone! (?) Mom can't figure this out because it was threaded onto MY COLLAR!!!! I guess having a big fat hotdog neck comes in handy!!!! I was gnawing my staples before she knew what was what!!! HAHAHAA!


THEN...a great battle ensued. She went into full Superfly mode and didn't stop until she caught me and RE BANDAGED my paw! She figures we'll try the Cone of Shame later. Just LOOK at the aftermath of this battle! (Be sure to click to biggify so you can see all of the chaos that resulted as a result of my greased pig-like moves!)

That's not even the WORST of it! I scratched and bit the CRAP out of mom's hand, scratched her leg THROUGH HER PANTS and she's bleeding, AND she kind of looks (and feels) like this....

OY!


All that insanity and jackassery made me tired...so I parked myself in my "naughty spot" where I could stare up at mom while she's working and make her feel SUPERSORRY for me.

HA! Cone of Shame??? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salinger: 1
Mom (and cone): 0



*****UPDATE AT 4:20 pm on Wednesday***** Doctor Boucher just called with lab results...it was a HISTIOCYTOMA (NOT a mast cell tumor like mom was freaking out about!) WHEW!!!!!!!!!

Fall of the House of Gingerbread (part deux)

Holden and I have an annual tradition of coming up with ways of destroying our annual gingerbread house! We apparently didn't blog about it last year, but CLICK HERE to see the destruction of the house from '08!

I had to get one last taste of the yummy house this year...

OM NOM NOM NOM!


OMG...Here comes Private Holden with a GRENADE!!!!



Now Holden, I ask you...is it really NECESSARY to plant the grenade in their FRONT YARD????

Oh crap....this isn't going to be pretty!!!! AVERT YOUR EYES EVERYONE!!!!


DUCK AND COVER!!!!

KA-BOOOOOM!


MON DIEU!!!!

Well Holden, I'd say this is definitely a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!


Ok, can I eat the pieces now????


HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Our Family Pre Thanksgiving Tradition

I'm going to give you a sneak peek into the crazy jackassery and insanity that my peeps inflict on me EVERY year the night before Thanksgiving. Get ready for this....

THIS is a TURKEY NECK.

NOW...when Holden was really little (maybe about 4 or 5) and before I was born, Mom was cleaning and prepping the turkey the night before Thanksgiving and pulled the NECK out of the cavity. Holden's mouth dropped open and he asked (with astonishment in his voice) "Is that the turkey PENIS?" Mom laughed so hard, and then after explaining what it REALLY was, proceeded to chase poor Holden around the house with the gross appendage. Here are some pics of this idiocy from past years (look how CUTE Holden is!)




It was bad enough that poor Holden was traumatized every year...but since I've come along, they also find it funny to include ME in the mess!

WTF??????????



MON DIEU! This is SO inappropriate!!!!


This year, mom WOKE US UP with this gross thing! Oy!


Talk about a RUDE awakening!!! Jeez!

I showed them...if someone is going to wave FOODABLES in my face, I'm going to EAT them!

NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!!


Part of the fun of the turkey neck is that late at night, we "deliver" it to our friends, the Aikens!

This year Holden got CAUGHT (haha!) and dropped it and RAN! BUSTED!!!!


Personally...I'd rather EAT the neck, but mom gets all yelly about too many bones, so we'll just continue on with our stupid pre-Thanksgiving family tradition!!!

Happy Hump Day everyone!