Wednesday, May 4, 2011

CONE? I'll show YOU!

Uh oh....I heard mom on the phone with dad saying that she was ready to ship me off to the meat packing plant (again)! You see...my paw bandage was supposed to come off yesterday, but it was STUCK to my fur and I screamed like a crazed chicken when mom tried to take it off, so she hauled my PugButt into the vet to get it taken off....here's what my staples look like...

EEEEWWWWW!!!! Gross...but much better than that cysty tumory thing! (STILL waiting on results from that, BTW)


Mom knows me too well, she figured I'd be gnawing at my staples the second I got out of there, so she bought me one of these....(and laughed herself STUPID at the vet's office!)

"I. HATE. YOU."


Once we got home, I cried and kept shaking my head to get the Cone of Shame OFF my head. Mom figured I would just go to sleep....

"GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!GETITOFF!"


SOMEHOW...I Houdini-ed myself OUT of the cone! (?) Mom can't figure this out because it was threaded onto MY COLLAR!!!! I guess having a big fat hotdog neck comes in handy!!!! I was gnawing my staples before she knew what was what!!! HAHAHAA!


THEN...a great battle ensued. She went into full Superfly mode and didn't stop until she caught me and RE BANDAGED my paw! She figures we'll try the Cone of Shame later. Just LOOK at the aftermath of this battle! (Be sure to click to biggify so you can see all of the chaos that resulted as a result of my greased pig-like moves!)

That's not even the WORST of it! I scratched and bit the CRAP out of mom's hand, scratched her leg THROUGH HER PANTS and she's bleeding, AND she kind of looks (and feels) like this....

OY!


All that insanity and jackassery made me tired...so I parked myself in my "naughty spot" where I could stare up at mom while she's working and make her feel SUPERSORRY for me.

HA! Cone of Shame??? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salinger: 1
Mom (and cone): 0



*****UPDATE AT 4:20 pm on Wednesday***** Doctor Boucher just called with lab results...it was a HISTIOCYTOMA (NOT a mast cell tumor like mom was freaking out about!) WHEW!!!!!!!!!

18 comments:

Gracie the Agility Pug said...

Score: Pug 1, human 0

Anonymous said...

I've never had a chance to actually sit down and read a Puppy Blog... But I'm impressed!! Too Funny! I'm thinking that Boo-Boo might have to get in on the action! LOL.
Thanks ~ Shara

Wilma said...

And rest you should my friend. Look at what she made you do. And now she's belly achin' about some little battle wounds. What about the irreversible psychological damage that you have suffered? I think whippy therapy is in order!

Aniemother said...

BOL! You're one crazy dude, Sal!

pugtails.net said...

So let me get this straight.....
She tried ripping your fur out to get the bandage off, took you back to the vet, forced you to wear the cone of shame and then laughed at you and took pictures to further your embarassment? And she's mad at you?
Even whippy therapy may not be enough.
Licks,
Sabrina

Minnie Moo said...

The cone of shame seems horrid. Only Lincoln has had to wear one. I'm so sorry. You seem to have worn your mama out. hehe

I especially like the part about screaming like a crazed chicken. I don't even know what that sounds like.

Muah,

Minnie Moo

Kitty+Coco said...

Good gawd Sal! You totally went psycho diva on your mom. I mean, you had a pretty bad day so hopefully you won't be in trouble. Might want to give the ol' girl a break and keep the jackassery to a minimum the next few days.
Seriously though..adhesive on pug hair is a FAIL.

Kitty and Coco

Pee.S. Mom is now realizing that she made us try on cones for chihuahua size dogs. Oops.

Archie and Melissa said...

oh salinger
i bet you are both pooped today!

stop chewing on your foot, your mom, your mom's leg, her hand (this is the thing hand that feeds you)and your bandage!

you silly pug!
you will get lots of hugs, kisses and foodables if they feel sorry for you instead of in a state of OY!

tee hee!

love you!

Minnie and Mack said...

OMG Salinger, you did all that in one day? You better watch who you bite! (Good going)

We were so relieved to hear the good news about the tumor!

Drools and licks,
Minnie and Mack

Tiffy said...

Too bad your neighbors didn't hear all the jackassery and try to save you. Momma would have sent my pug butt to the meat packing plant if I did all that but then again I might like it there.

I have a histiocytoma, too, so we are twinners!

Tiffy

Marlene said...

You stay strong, Salinger, you stay strong! We have to keep one step ahead of the humans!

Love, Marlene

Oakley and Swisher said...

Soooooooo if we commented twice on this post we apologize, we thought we did but we don't see our comment.

We are glad that your ouchie wasnt bad stuff, now your mom can stop worrying about you and concentrate all her worries to your Red Wings. Bol, sorry we had to say that.

Way to show that cone and mom who's boss Sal.

Lots of Shark Chomps,
Oak and Swish

Benny and Lily said...

great job! they do sell round pillow things to go around your neck, unless she already bought the straight jacket
Benny & Lily

Winston, Kizzy and Tika of Two Cats and a Pug said...

Great news about the mass that was removed.

Bad news about the cone.

Good news about yous getting out of it.

Bad news about you being captured.

Good news that your momma wasn't hurts.

Bad news there's a bandage back on your paw.

Good news that your momma has to sit at the puter and gaze down at the pathetic looking pug that is feeling soooo sorry for himself cuz his momma gots him the cone of shame.

Possible good news.... maybe just maybe she learned from this episode of chaos and will never ever gets you a cone again.

Here is one for the pugs!

Winston Wilbur

Clara James said...

You look so naughty, busy all the day in practicing such action. Which can irritate anyone and also can cause a serious injury to you too. There should be safe way to enjoy your day, with safe pet sports products.

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Gosh Salinger
Is there anything left of your paw after you did all that biting and screaming and carrying on?

Were happy the boo boo will be ok
love
tweedles

Hank said...

Salinger Jack! NOT nice!!!

You better straighten up by Mother's Day!

Molly

PS My mommy wants me to remind you that your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, and that you need a spanking.

PPS Word verification: shiner. That's what you're gonna get if you don't behave!!!

Suzy said...

LOL! Silly pug making all of that mess :)