Uh oh....I heard mom on the phone with dad saying that she was ready to ship me off to the meat packing plant (again)! You see...my paw bandage was supposed to come off yesterday, but it was STUCK to my fur and I screamed like a crazed chicken when mom tried to take it off, so she hauled my PugButt into the vet to get it taken off....here's what my staples look like...
EEEEWWWWW!!!! Gross...but much better than that cysty tumory thing! (STILL waiting on results from that, BTW)
Mom knows me too well, she figured I'd be gnawing at my staples the second I got out of there, so she bought me one of these....(and laughed herself STUPID at the vet's office!)
"I. HATE. YOU."
Once we got home, I cried and kept shaking my head to get the Cone of Shame OFF my head. Mom figured I would just go to sleep....
SOMEHOW...I Houdini-ed myself OUT of the cone! (?) Mom can't figure this out because it was threaded onto MY COLLAR!!!! I guess having a big fat hotdog neck comes in handy!!!! I was gnawing my staples before she knew what was what!!! HAHAHAA!
THEN...a great battle ensued. She went into full Superfly mode and didn't stop until she caught me and RE BANDAGED my paw! She figures we'll try the Cone of Shame later. Just LOOK at the aftermath of this battle! (Be sure to click to biggify so you can see all of the chaos that resulted as a result of my greased pig-like moves!)
That's not even the WORST of it! I scratched and bit the CRAP out of mom's hand, scratched her leg THROUGH HER PANTS and she's bleeding, AND she kind of looks (and feels) like this....
All that insanity and jackassery made me tired...so I parked myself in my "naughty spot" where I could stare up at mom while she's working and make her feel SUPERSORRY for me.
HA! Cone of Shame??? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom (and cone): 0
*****UPDATE AT 4:20 pm on Wednesday***** Doctor Boucher just called with lab results...it was a HISTIOCYTOMA (NOT a mast cell tumor like mom was freaking out about!) WHEW!!!!!!!!!
9 hours ago