All I need to know, I learned from Stubby

I'm sure by now you all have heard that one of my best PugBuddies, STUBBY, crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning. He was very wise beyond his 13.5 years here on earth and I learned many important life lessons from him during the great times I was able to spend with him.

Here's a pic from the summer of 09 when I first met Stubby...

Lesson 1: NEVER be afraid to charm the ladies!!! Moms are typically the pushovers and will let you get away with pretty much ANYTHING, so go ahead and lay the sugar on THICK!


Lesson 2 continued on that same afternoon at the Indy Pug Meetup...

Always keep the Mom happy and smile and look adorable in ALL photos. Moms LOVE that crap!


This brings us to Lesson 3:

If you look SuperExtraCute, tragic AND starving all at once...you're sure to get scooped up and have your own special place at the table. Make sure they're serving something GOOD though before you put all this effort into it though...there was only rabbit food on this table. Ugh!


When I went to visit Stubby in Chicago this past summer, he taught me MORE cool stuff! These were quite ADVANCED lessons (pay close attention...)

LESSON 4:

Be sure to S T R E T C H as well as you can before you're about to eat mass quantities of nommables (like Popeye's chicken!). Stretching your front paws provides little extra pockets of space for the chicken (or other nommables) to flow, ergo allowing more intake room into your stomach!


Lesson 5:

When you smell something YUMMY (again: Popeye's chicken)...RUN LIKE HELL to the source!! Don't walk, trot, mosey, stroll, sashay or ANYTHING slower than a BREAKNECK SPEED RUN! You won't regret it!


Lesson 6:

Get your face as CLOSE as possible to any potential nommable food source and be sure to snooter and snort ALL OVER it...completely bogarting the foodables and rendering it "gross" and undesirable for human consumption.


Lesson 7:

If some sort of yummy foodable is being offered to you, be sure to act ravenous and completely crazed with hunger. It will make the humans feed you faster.


Lesson 8:
Always be sure to use good manners and write a formal apology if you do something wrong or unkind.

(actual card received from Stubby! HAHAHA!)


Lesson 9:
When chatting up a love interest...be sure to discuss common interests.

Here are Stubby and Molly O'Mally this past October. They sat there yammering about their favorite old episodes of The Rockford Files, the early bird specials at Denny's, the best prescription discount cards and the damn kids these days and their loud music and the constant texting, texting TEXTING!!!! Can't you just SEE the sparks flying between these two?


Lesson 10:
If someone is willing to wrap you up and hold you through an entire football game in the cold rain...LET THEM!

No wiggling, no squirming, just snuggle up and enjoy the game! Stubby's dad wrapped him up like a burrito on this particularly cold and rainy Saturday in October!


Lesson 11:
The old adage is true...Birds of a feather DO flock together!

In this case...Crazy Pug Mamas, all bonding over their mutual love of PUGS. Pretty cool eh?


So THANK YOU Stubby, for teaching me so many important things. I will miss your friendship, but am so thankful for the time that I had with you and know that our parents will always be friends.

Farewell old chap! I'll make you a deal...YOU run free and enjoy all the Popeye's you can handle on that side of the bridge and I'll keep an eye on your peeps and make sure they keep the jackassery to a minimum...ok???